


Barriers

by SomedayTheSky



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Agender Chara, Agender Frisk, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Chara Protection Squad, Chara and Frisk's backstories, Fluff and Angst, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Other, Reader Is Not Chara, Reader Is Not Frisk, charisk, light LGBTQ themes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-24
Updated: 2016-08-24
Packaged: 2018-08-10 18:06:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7855555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SomedayTheSky/pseuds/SomedayTheSky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Frisk and Chara- an unlikely pair, to say the least. One is determined to break the barrier at all costs, and the other? Well, they just came through it. Frisk is excited to make new friends but Chara is just trying to focus on fixing their past mistakes. Will they learn to solve their problems non-violently? Or will they get caught up in their insecurities and continue the way they always have?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Barriers

**Author's Note:**

> Wholeheartedly dedicated to the lovely art bean, for putting up with essays, feels, rants, and months of random ideas that would eventually evolve into this story. Thank you for always supporting me. 
> 
> It goes without saying that these characters belong to Toby Fox, not me.

Small children are odd things. They more they insist they can take care of themselves, the more they need someone to do just that. It had been almost eight years since a small child was born in a grimy village near a mountain. This child was positively adamant that they were perfectly capable of taking care of themselves, thank you very much. They weren’t afraid to hurt you no matter your size, and they seemed to think they didn’t need family or friends. Inhuman, sadistic, utterly evil. I mean, have you seen their eyes? Have you seen their smile? Don’t let them near you. Don’t let them near a knife.

The child sat alone in an abandoned room, nothing except for the dusty floorboards and dull gray walls. This was their “home”, the crumbling ceiling a shield against the endless invective that always awaited them outside. They sat at the fireplace, concentrating difficultly on blowing on a stolen match, willing a spark to catch. It took them half the day to steal the match from a local store, finding the perfect opportunity to sneak in quietly and grab one. 

They silently chastised themselves for not taking the whole matchbox. This match was probably too soggy to ever catch. Still, they were grateful to have it, and they probably would’ve gotten caught if they had taken the whole box. As it was the store owner already had chased them down the street. The memory made the child so angry.

“Someday they’ll see how wrong they are about me,” they thought, “I’ll make them see how wrong they are.”

They felt something stir deep in their stomach, despite not having eaten. The feeling spread to their chest, deep and golden, a reassuring glow whispering to them not to give up. They blew on the match one more time. A spark caught onto the paper and began to grow nicely in the fireplace. The child scrambled back in surprise, the feeling still lingering in their torso, then collapsed next to it, exhausted, happy to sleep in warmth.

 

\- - -

 

They woke up to a sudden pain in their stomach, immediately jumping up. They were used to fights, they were used to defending themselves, it was nothing out of the ordinary. This, however, was not a fight. The child was surrounded by five people, teenagers much bigger than them.

“What do you want?” they said exasperatedly. They didn’t want to fight, they never did. Fighting was a waste of time and energy, valuable resources that had to be put into survival. There simply was no other option. Cruel laughter echoed around the room.

“We heard all about you brat from the shop owner. Seems you’ve been giving her some trouble?” someone questioned.

“It was one match.”

“Sure. One match today, one match tomorrow. How many in total have you stolen from her?”

“I’m not going to plead or argue with you when I’ve done nothing wrong. You people are sick for telling me I’m the evil one. I’m not afraid of you, of any of you. If you want to fight me, just do it and stop messing around like infants. If not, I’ve got better things to be doing,” they smiled politely.

The group was taken aback by this strangely articulate answer, and the child used this to push trough them and try to run away. They would’ve escaped, too, if someone hadn’t been waiting outside the door to grab them. They threw themselves at their opponents, scratching, biting, kicking, anything they could think of, but they were ultimately outnumbered.

“Freak!” Someone shouted, but the child couldn’t hear. They were so close to unconsciousness.

“I’m not a freak,” they stuttered weakly, “I’m Chara.”

 

\- - -

 

People would remember that name, they thought as they stood at Mount Ebott. They would ask, “Where’s Chara? What happened to Chara?” but it would be too late. They would look back with regret and sorrow and think “We should’ve been kinder.” Chara would be remembered. They smiled as they began to climb the mountain. This was it. This was, in their eyes, what they were meant to do. Small children are odd things, but this was no ordinary child. This child was determined.

 

\- - -

 

“My name is Chara,” they stammered, looking around in utter confusion. They had heard of monsters before, but never seen one. All that Chara had been told was that monsters were dangerous and to be stayed away from, so naturally they were drawn to the one in front of them.

“Chara? That’s a nice name,” grinned the goat-like creature. “Isn’t that the name of a star? Wow. I’ve never seen real stars before.” His kindness and naivety were inexplicably infuriating.

“No. This isn’t supposed to happen. I’m supposed to be- I’m supposed to be-”

“You look like you fell pretty hard there. Hang on, let me get mom and dad, they’ll know what to do. Um, I’m Asriel by the way!” With that, the monster boy ran off, momentarily leaving Chara alone with their thoughts. They were always thinking, they had to to stay alive, but their constant internal monologue was eerily quiet right now. They surveyed their surroundings. The ground was hard underneath them, with nothing to break their fall. the room felt cavelike and spacious, though dark, with crystals covering the top of the cave.

“How nice would it be to draw this cave,” they thought. The crystals took on hues of ink, the ground an ashy pencil grey.

Suddenly, Asriel returned, interrupting Chara’s musings and bringing two more goat like creatures with him. “Here’s the human! See, I wasn’t making it up!” Asriel offered his hand to help Chara up and they instinctively cringed, thinking he was going to hit them. Asriel laughed and helped them up.

In no time at all, they were in a nice house, eating warm food, wearing new clothes, and telling their story. Their whole story. Chara was unaccustomed to people wanting to hear them talk, and the whole concept of “brain to mouth filter” wasn’t one that had been introduced to them. With every word, they became more and more a part of the Dreemurr family. Toriel hugged the child and smoothed their hair down, tearing up a little bit at each mention of “demon” or “evil”. Asgore sat gruffly in the corner, steadily making his way through an entire box of tissues. Asriel looked right at Chara, filled with wonder at descriptions of night skies and disgust at descriptions of fistfights. Chara themselves was lost. They were scared and confused, not used to sympathy or tears or hugs. At the end of the night, an extra bed was set up in Asriel’s room.

“I’m so exited! I’ve always wanted a sibling or a best friend, and now I get both! I can show you all around the underground and introduce you to everybody!” At Chara’s ignorance of his enthusiasm, he responded, “Well, it’s okay, we can take it slow, too. I wouldn’t really trust me either after what you’ve been through.” The two sat on their beds in silence for a while.

“No, that sounds great,” they said, barely loud enough to hear. “Thank you.”

 

\- - -

 

 

“Normal fourteen year old girls like dresses, Frisk. Why don’t you put on the dress?”

“I’m not a girl, aunty,” Frisk growled, “and I don’t want to wear a dress.”

“There you go with that nonsense again! If your mother could see you now, she would be so ashamed. Now is not the time for this, I’m hosting an event for your uncle’s business and investors will be there. I’m not going to let you ruin it. Now be a good girl and put this on,” the woman said, bouncing out out of Frisk’s room.

Frisk balled their fists and screamed into a pillow. They hated this more than anything in their life. If their mom were here, she would understand. The anger quickly turned into bitter sadness and Frisk began to cry quietly. They looked around their room. It was so big, decorated with antique pastel pink furniture. They felt like a bird in a cage, waiting for someone to set them free, and the helplessness was infuriating.

Frisk eyed the dress with hatred. To be honest, it wasn’t the worst thing they’d been forced into wearing. It was light blue with floral print, not too tight or poofy. It wasn’t dresses they had anything against, dresses were fine, it was being called a girl. Mom understood. Mom was the one to help them understand that they were agender, they understood when Frisk was unsettled with “she” or “her”. Frisk resignedly sighed and changed into the dress. There was nothing they could do. “Normal fourteen year old girls like dresses, Frisk,” their mind repeated. “Don’t you want people to like you? Don’t you want friends?” They rubbed their eyes with their wrists. All they ever wanted was a friend.

 

\- - -

 

They sat in a corner, watching the event go on around them. It was mostly adults wearing fancy suits, drinking champagne civilly.

“Is this Frisk? How adorable is she? Shame about her mother. You’re so kind to be taking her in like this,” one chatted.

“Aren’t I? She’s certainly… strong-willed.”

“Teenagers. They’re all like that. Just give her time, I’m sure she’ll calm down.”

Polite laughter. Forced smiles. Small talk. Frisk felt so insignificant.

“I don’t believe Frisk wishes to be referred to as a she,” calmly stated a voice. They looked up, questioning who their savior was. No adult had ever acknowledged their proper pronouns other than their mom.

“Quite the phase, isn’t it? Just last week she utterly refused to shop from the girls’ section, the week before that she cut six inches off her hair without asking me permission.”

“A phase, is it?” The voice laughed warily. Someone knelt down next to Frisk. “I remember when they were in your shoes.”

“Huh?” came the confused response.

“Nice to meet you, Frisk. My child is agender and goes by they pronouns too.”

“What?” Frisk blinked. “Do you mean they’re like me?”

The person laughed. “They are. Someday you’ll discover that there’s a huge supportive community of people just like you and them, but until you get to that point, can I tell you a secret?”

“Um… sure,” they said uncertainly.

“Don’t let anyone tell you who you can or can’t be. You can do absolutely anything you set your mind to as long as you stay determined, it doesn’t matter what these guys think. You’re smart, independent, and important, and you’re going to achieve great things,” the person winked.

Frisk paused to take all of it in.

“Thank you,” they whispered, tightly hugging the stranger, “Thank you for that.”

 

\- - -

 

Frisk clutched their bus ticket tightly in their hands, trying not to show their nerves. After three years of living with their aunt and uncle, they had finally cracked. The stranger’s words swirled through their mind: “Stay determined… Stay determined.” They were sweating. It was a hot summer’s night, the moon was shining brightly. Crickets were chirping in the distance. They took one last look at their house, contemptuously eyeing the second story window that served as their prison, turned around, and began to walk. They had no money, no friends, and no plan but to get as far away from there as they could. They caught their bus and sat quietly, staring out the window and hugging their knees. They expected to feel some sort of immediate relief, no matter how temporary, but there was nothing except the hallow ache of being utterly alone.

Still, they kept going, continuing to walk once the bus got to its last stop. The sun had risen, illuminating that Frisk had somehow gotten themselves into thick forest. There wasn’t a single house in sight and the road that the bus came from had seemingly disappeared. They pushed through dense grass and foliage, hoping to find a house, a lamppost, any sign of civilization, but there was nothing. They began to climb at a steep incline, the panic of being lost overtaking the rational “stay put and figure out where you are”. They wiped sweat off of their face, panting, and in a moment of clumsiness, tripped over their shoelace and fell a lot farther than they were expecting.

 

\- - -

 

“Oh no, not another one,” mumbled a voice. Everything was dark. A sharp pain penetrated their arm. “Woah, this one fell pretty hard. You okay, there?”

Frisk groaned.

“Your arm!” the voice gasped. “It’s bleeding! Oh my god I need to get mom.” Frisk was lifted off the ground and carried somewhere pleasantly warm. “Mom! Mom, there’s another one! They’re really bloody! What do I do?”

“Do not worry, my child, they will be okay. It is only a cut,” a kind voice laughed, “they just need a bandage and some rest. Perhaps some water, as well. It is sweet you care so much, Chara.”

“What? No, I just didn’t want them to die! I need seven human souls for my plan, and I could use a back up if one of them backs out at the last minute or something-”

“Okay, okay,” the voice laughed again, unconvinced. “How about you help them with that cut then? For your plan, of course.”

“I can’t believe there’s another human.” The sound of a running faucet and cabinets opening. “I mean, how many missing children will it take for the human government to get the memo and put up at least semi-decent fencing?” they scoffed.

“We certainly are crowded. I suppose this means you will have to share your room.”

“Me? Why don’t you have one of the other humans do it?” they whined.

“At this rate, everyone will have to eventually.”

“Come on, Mom! I’m too old to share a room anyways.”

“You are fifteen, my child.”

They sighed. “Are you sure you want me to do this? I’ve never been very good at… heal-y things.”

“It is only a cut. You will do fine.”

Frisk felt the familiar sensation of cold water running over their skin. The disinfectant soap stung the cut and they winced, the pain bringing slight awareness back to them. Their arm was being wrapped in bandage.

“Is that good?”

“Perfect. How about we get them some water and let them rest? They fell very hard.”

A glass was being pressed to their lips. The water was cool and delicious and brought a bit of clarity to Frisk’s head. They looked around, blinking. Someone near their age was looking at them concernedly while a goat-like creature stood at a stove, cooking something. Frisk scrambled back, startled.

“You’re awake,” the other human said, delighted. “I was worried your arm was broken or something.”

“Where am I? Who are you?” they stuttered, terrified.

“Don’t worry,” they responded gently, “No one’s going to hurt you- except for maybe the flower in the pot in the living room. You’ll have to excuse him. I’m Chara and this is Toriel (you can call her “Mom”.) Welcome to the Underground,” they put in an effort to make sure their smile wasn’t creepy.

Frisk promptly fainted.

 

\- - -

 

They slowly blinked and looked around, unsure. Where were they? What an odd dream they had. Now everything would be back to normal, they would be in the dumb dusty pink interior of their bedroom.

“You’re up… again…”

Frisk jumped… again. It hadn’t been a dream at all. The human was sitting in a bed across the small room, writing something in a notebook. They laughed at Frisk’s nervousness, perhaps a little bitterly.

“Wh- what’s going on?” No response. “Who are you?” No response. “What is this place?” With every question Frisk grew more and more agitated. “Why aren’t you answering me?”

“Wow,” Chara laughed, adding a scribble to their notebook, “Each one of us is more pathetic than the next. Is this what I acted like when I fell down? I’d like to think I was a little more… resilient.”

“Okay, first of all, watch your tone with me, friend. You may be a little bit older and bigger but I came all this way and I’m not stopping now. Second, I have a right to know what’s happening in my own life. You’re going to answer my questions and tell me exactly what is going on here-”

“Or you’ll what?” They smiled wryly. Frisk was speechless, not having expected such a terse reply. “Hey, you got some backbone. Nice to see that around here for a change,” they continued to scribble in their notebook. “Like I said, you’re in the underground. Surely you’ve heard of Mount Ebott and the legend?”

“Mount Ebott? I didn’t think I’d gone that far-”

“So you were running away? What were you running from?”

“None of your business, thank you. I don’t even know your name!”

“ _Like I said_ , it’s Chara. I suppose your name is none of my business, too?”

“It’s Frisk. I go by they/them pronouns.”

“Me, too.”   
“Wait, you- you’re agender?”

“Uh, is that the word for it? I guess so.” Suddenly, Frisk was giving Chara a tight hug. They were surprised at how warm Chara was, at how they reluctantly sank into the hug, like they needed it. “First you yell at me, then you hug me. What’s with you?”

“I’ve never met anybody who was the same as me before, and now… now…” Frisk looked to the side awkwardly. “I suppose you’re not going to want to be friends with me after that. I’m sorry. I’ll just… go. Thank you for my arm.”

“Go where?” they snorted. “You’re going to die out there on your own. Hell, you wouldn’t even get past the living room in this state. Mom isn’t going to let you leave, so it looks like you’re stuck with me. Sorry.”

Realization dawned on Frisk’s face. “No, I can’t possibly take all this hospitality for free. At least let me do something to help.”

“Oh, there are ways you can help, but not now. You need to regain strength.”

Frisk flopped onto their stomach on their bed. “I’ll move out as soon as you need. I don’t want to bother you.”

“Too late for that, I’m afraid. Still, if I had to share my room with someone, you don’t seem absolutely intolerable.”

“Thank you,” they smiled genuinely. Frisk was always good at reading people and understood that not absolutely intolerable was the closest thing they would get to a compliment for the time being. “Hey, what are you drawing in that book?”

“Nothing!” Chara said, snapping the book shut. “It’s just… doodles, that’s all.”

“That’s really cool! You don’t have to show me if you don’t want to, though.”

“Thanks,” they responded, with surprising sincerity. “Nobody… Nobody understands that. It’s just personal, you know?”

“Yeah, no problem.”

The moment faded away awkwardly. “Do you need anything...? More water?”

“That would be really great.”

“Wow, this brings back memories,” Chara said, indicating the two beds. “The last time I was roommates with someone, it- I- nevermind. I think I have to introduce you to somebody. You might want to prepare yourself.”

Chara came back holding a glass of water and a flower pot. “Um… This is Flowey,” they said, passing the water to Frisk and balancing the pot on their lap.

“I can introduce myself, thank you!” Frisk spilled some of the water they were so surprised. “Howdy, I’m Flowey. Flowey the flower… Say, you’re new to the underground, aren’t’cha? Golly, you must be so confused.”

“Well, yeah, I just met a talking flower, what do you expect from me?” Frisk demanded.

“Woah there, someone’s a little grouchy. Chara, do I have to talk to this one? There’s so many I can’t even remember all their names, one more doesn’t really make a difference.”

“Flowey, this is Frisk. They’re going to be my roommate for a while. They fell really hard and now they’re hurt so we have to look after them. That means no pellets!”

“But-”

“No!”

“But Chara-!”

“I said no!”

“You’re no fun to play with anymore. Remember how you used to dream? You used to dream of killing them all. Humans. Monsters. Everyone. The entire timeline. The utter beauty of total destruction, it was all so close, and I ruined it. Why don’t we try again, Chara? I can do it this time. We can do it together.”

“That’s enough out of you,” Chara said, trying to hide their shame. “You’ll have to excuse him, sometimes he gets a bit… murdery-”

“Reminds me of someone!”

“Shh! If he gives you any trouble, just tell me, I’ll shut him up. He’s getting better though. It’s been a whole week without him throwing pellets at anybody… We’re both getting better. Just don’t get within an inch of hurting this jerk if you value your internal organs,” they smiled.

“Um… okay… nice to meet you, Flowey,” Frisk said, trying to remain positive.

“Sucks to meet you, too!”

 

\- - -

 

“So, where do you come from?” Frisk asked Chara one night. Making progress in their friendship proved to be awkward, at best. Any attempt at conversation always failed miserably on both of their parts.

“Honestly, I’d be more interested in getting stabbed in the eye with a rusty spoon than talking about this.”

“That bad, huh?” Silence. “I’m sorry. Did you come to Mount Ebott for the same reason I did, then? Were you running away?” Silence. Chara stared intensely at a speck on the floor, their face cast in shadow.

“I said I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Oh, right. I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean to make you upset. I understand, childhood can be tough. Kids are cruel.”

“You don’t understand.”

“What?”

“Don’t pretend you understand.” Frisk started to interject. “No, I don’t want your sick pity! I’m fine!”

Frisk sat calmly, quickly adjusted to Chara’s volatile personality. “Okay. Just tell me what you need.”

“I need people to stop feeling sorry for me! I’m fine,” they said, although they clearly were not. Frisk’s calm only enhanced Chara’s anxiety. “Everything is fine! I’m not broken! I’m not- I’m not a demon!”

“Who said anything about demons?”

“You shouldn’t be around me. I’m not safe,” they said, clutching themselves tightly.

“Then I’ll protect you.”

“No, I’m not safe for you. Frisk, I’m giving you a chance. Leave before I convince you to help me. I have seven human souls, you can go,” they cried through hyperventilated gasps. “Leave me alone!” They tried their best at a scary face but it didn’t work between the tears and the shaky hands and the sweat. A moment of silence. Frisk stood up from their bed, still weak from their injury. Chara buried their head in their arms. Frisk sat next to them, their small, cool hand rubbing Chara’s back.

“You’re not very frightening this way,” they said gently. Chara continued to breathe rapidly, too terrified to interject. “Lay down, put your feet up on the headboard. I don’t want you to faint, you need the blood to go to your head.” They complied shakily. “Good. Just breathe deeply-” Chara let out a sob and Frisk reached for their hand. “I’ll do it with you. Inhale… Exhale… Inhale… Exhale… I know it feels impossible, it’s okay. Let’s try again. Inhale… Exhale… Inhale… Exhale…” Frisk smiled despite starting to grow teary themselves. They hated to see people suffering, even people they had just met a few weeks ago. Chara’s breathing began to grow slightly regular and they stopped crying. “Look, you did it! I’m so proud of you.” Frisk passed them a glass of water and they took a delicate sip.

“I’m so sorry you had to see me like that,” Chara said, wiping a tear off their cheek.

“Don’t you dare apologize,” said Frisk, equally tearful.

“No, that wasn’t your responsibility to take care of. I should’ve seen that coming and dealt with it before it escalated that way.”

“You know, whatever it is you’re dealing with, you don’t have to do it alone. You can always talk to me. I don’t care if we’ve known each other for a week or a year, you’re my friend and I care about you. I mean, you don’t have to if you don’t feel comfortable.”

“Thank you, but I’d really rather not.”

“That’s fine, I understand.”

Chara tried to smile. “So that’s your preview for what it’s like trying to befriend me. I’m such a weak loser. Look at me! Crying like a wimp,” they forced a laugh.

“You’re not weak, Chara. It’s not weak to have feelings. In fact, you’re ridiculously brave and strong for getting through all of it. I like talking to you like this- when you aren’t pretending to be all cold and aloof.”

“Why are you crying?” They were genuinely confused and a little concerned.

“I- just didn’t like seeing you so upset.”

“You barely know me. Why do you care so much?”

“If you were in my place you would’ve done the same thing.”

Chara stared at the glass of water.

“Chara, are you alright?” Toriel breezed in. “I thought I heard- Oh! Sorry! I will just, as the kids say, go! Yes! I will go somewhere! Goodbye!”

“What’s her deal?” Chara asked.

“Chara? We’re still holding hands.”

“Oh my god.” They proceeded to roll up into a little ball.

“What, you embarrassed?” Frisk teased. “I can’t be that bad.” Chara winced, hiding their blushing face in their knees.

 

\- - -

 

“What, you embarrassed?” Frisk nudged Chara playfully as Chara turned dark red. It had been a few months since Chara’s anxiety attack and the two had grown to be quite comfortable with each other. Maybe too comfortable, as Frisk had spent the whole day babbling to Toriel, Asgore, and anyone else who would listen that Chara sometimes sang in their sleep, and they wanted to fly into the sun because of it. They sat side by side on Frisk’s bed, the sun going down. “It’s just so adorable- the look on your face with your hair all messy, I can’t help myself,” Frisk giggled, brushing Chara’s hand. Chara’s cheeks were burning. “You know what would be even more adorable? If you were next to me when you did that,” they joked.

Guilty delight danced across their smile seeing Chara so flustered. Frisk loved flirting with everyone but Chara was their personal favorite. It took almost nothing to make them flustered. They desperately avoided eye contact, seeking any way out of this situation. “Aw, come on. Can’t I see your eyes? They’re so beautiful.”

“No, yours are the ones that are beautiful,” said Chara, so quietly Frisk might have imagined it.

“Huh?”

“Your eyes cast a sunshine yellow filter on all they look at. They’re so beautiful they can see goodness in even my eyes which they so keenly wish to gaze into, despite mine being wary and tired. They’re as beautiful as their owner, who will always see so sunshine yellow that they find some in every corner of the earth, even in me, someone who only knows how to see in dark red.” 

It was almost whispered, with a tenderness- no, fondness Frisk didn’t know they were capable of before. It was silent for a few moments, they could hear each other breathe. Frisk was just joking like they did with everybody. Sans, Toriel, even Flowey were occasionally victims of Frisk’s flirtatious nature. They never meant any of it. It was only for fun, but this felt different. The soft intensity in Chara’s voice, the tears beginning to stain their reddened cheeks, the hair falling over their eyes. They really cared, and although they hadn’t realized until now, so did Frisk.

“No, don’t respond,” Chara shook their head, “don’t say anything, I don’t want to know either way. Forget I said anything.”

“Chara-,” Frisk said breathlessly. They felt like they were falling down Mount Ebott all over again, but in a thrilling way, knowing this time that Chara was there to meet them at the bottom.

“I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“When you love someone, you’re supposed to protect them at all costs, no matter what. How could I possibly tell you that I- that I care about you, knowing what I’m about to do? You deserve so much more, so many things that I would never be able to give you. I could never make you happy, and you deserve all the happiness in the world.”

“Chara,” Frisk repeated, beaming, “you talk too much. I don’t care about some stupid plan, I don’t care about the things you once thought or felt or did. You make me the happiest I’ve been in my entire life, and all I want is to give that happiness back to you.” Frisk tackled Chara in a hug, laughing. Chara silently buried their head in Frisk’s shoulder, for once allowing themselves a moment of sentimentality past crying.

“I don’t think I’ve ever been this type of close to anyone before. It’s kind of scary.”

“I must be very intimidating,” Frisk said, pulling them closer.

“You are. The way you love everyone so easily and show it so openly- how do you trust everyone so much? Even me. You barely know me, you have all the reason to hate me. I’ve told you multiple times that I’m dangerous, but you’re still here.”

“I’m never going away, either. I suppose I just know what it feels like to not have a friend, and I want to make sure that nobody else goes through that. The way you spoke earlier… Nobody’s ever spoke to me like that. Why do you care about me of all people? I’m not particularly special. I’m where people go when there’s nobody left, when all the other options are exhausted.”

“If anyone makes you feel lonely again, just send them my way, alright? They’ll get what’s coming to them.”

“You’re doing it.”

“Doing what?”

“‘When you love someone, you’re supposed to protect them.’”

“No, I- I-,” Chara escaped Frisk’s arms, “I can’t do this. What I’m going to do is so disgustingly wrong already, I can’t make it worse.”

“I’m sure you’re fine, whatever it is you’re doing,” Frisk said, pretending not to be hurt.

“It’s absolutely horrible, but it has to be done, and I have to be the one to do it. It doesn’t matter how I feel about you, I can’t let this happen. Goodnight, Frisk,” they said abruptly, turning off their light and lying sideways on their bed, facing the wall.

“Um, goodnight, Chara,” said Frisk, swallowing the pain quietly and doing the same.

 

\- - -

 

Frisk awoke late at night to the sound of Chara screaming in their sleep.

“Chara!” Frisk shook them, “Chara, wake up!” They sat up abruptly in a cold sweat, their hands shaking. “You were dreaming.”

Chara immediately reached for their notebook and opened it up, beginning to scribble feverishly.

“What are you doing? Are you okay?”

No response, as per usual. Chara was sweating and gritting their teeth, breathing heavily, scribbling like their life depended on it.

“Are you okay?” More silence. “Are you okay, Chara?” It wasn’t a question. “Answer me! I’m not the broken, confused child that fell down here. I’m your friend whether you accept it or not and I demand respect. You can’t tell me the things you say and then turn around and pretend I don’t exist! You can’t only be kind to me when it personally suits you and forget that I’m even alive when I’m hurting! Why won’t you just let me in?”

Chara fell forward onto their own lap, their fanatic energy at once giving away into exhaustion. They resignedly passed Frisk their book.

Frisk held it indignantly and flipped the cover open. On the first page were the words “this is all just a bad dream”. The first quarter of the book was made up of sketches of a monster like Toriel and Asgore, except smaller, perhaps a child. This creature was shown smiling and happy, with a yellow colored pencil glow around him. Occasionally there were sketches of a fireplace and a dusty room, drawn with dark ink.

Frisk flipped the pages, unsure. The drawings were beautiful but the mood behind them was unsettling. The next page was a watercolor self portrait of Chara with black pouring out of their eyes. Flowey was growing out of the top of their head.

The journal got increasingly darker and darker, depicting faceless people lying dead, a child with a match setting fire to a forest, a smile caught in the reflection of a bloody knife. One page was painted entirely red. Frisk kept flipping pages in disbelief. Everybody Frisk had met in the underground was drawn dead somewhere in the book, Chara themselves most of all, shown jumping off Mount Ebott. A page was filled with faceless people shouting cruel things at a child: Inhuman, sadistic, utterly evil. I mean, have you seen their eyes? Have you seen their smile? Don’t let them near you. Don’t let them near a knife.

Just when their stomach had just about taken enough gore, they found a page with themselves. It was a detailed ink drawing of the roof of the place where Frisk fell down, with their figure added in with pencil, clearly an afterthought. Still, it contrasted with the horror enough to feel special. The next page had a more detailed drawing of Frisk with the same yellow colored pencil glow that the boss monster child had. They couldn’t help but notice how flawlessly accurate the picture was. Every detail down to the strand of hair that they pushed behind their ear was correct. There were a few more sketches of them, them laughing, them smiling, them singing, each more pastel and joyful than the next.

The respite didn’t last, and the next five pages were occupied with charcoal black drawings of their dead body. In one, Chara stood next to it with a knife. The paper seemed to be stained with something- tears, maybe? I COULDN’T SAVE FRISK was scratched out across two whole pages, the writing dark and angular. More drawings of Chara with a knife and blood. Frisk turned to the most recent page, which was filled with the dead bodies of all eight humans interspersed with jagged pieces of the barrier lying on the ground like broken glass.

Chara was very silent, still sweating.

“Chara,” Frisk breathed, processing what they’d seen, “What- What are- What is all this? Why are you drawing everyone dead?”

“It’s a dream journal,” their voice was dripping with shame.

“Those are your dreams?”

Chara nodded wordlessly.

“Wait, what about this one?” Frisk held up the I COULDN’T SAVE FRISK pages. “Save me from what?”

“Myself. My plan.”

“I don’t think I’m the one who needs saving,” they said kindly, fanning through the pages. “No wonder you were screaming with all this in your head. Why didn’t you tell me before?”

“Didn’t think you were into seeing drawings of your dead body.”

“Didn’t think you were into drawing my alive body.”

“It was nice drawing something pretty for once,” they said earnestly.

“Oh, look who’s flirting now,” Frisk laughed bitterly. “Why is it that you get all affectionate when you’re anxious but when you’re relaxed you won’t let me anywhere near you?”

“I just don’t have the energy or good judgement to push you away right now.”

Frisk looked through the book again. “These are awful. How have you managed them for this long?”

“I’ve never known anything else but this until Asriel, but I forgot what not having nightmares felt like until you came along. Drawing them is really how I manage. It feels like if I can recreate the situation on paper I’m somehow in control of it.”

“You’re a really great artist.”

“Thanks,” they laughed.

“What? I’m not joking. Hey, do you want some tea or anything? That might help you feel better.”

“No, I think I just need to get back to sleep. Thank you.”

“Do you want to sleep with me?”

“What?” they were cracking up.

“It might stop your nightmare. Come on, I’m not that horrible, am I?” Chara kept laughing. “Drop your edgy loner stuff and let me love you before I freaking strangle you, you cactus!”

“Did you just call me a cactus?”

“Did I? Did I? It doesn’t matter! I am not giving you an opportunity to change your mind! Get over here,” they said, pulling a weak-from-intense-fits-of-laughter Chara next to them. “Goodnight!” they said firmly.

“Goodnight?”

((The art journal idea came from a prompt. Credit goes to @little_cloud_watcher on instagram.))

 

\- - -

 

Frisk strolled around waterfall breezily. They always took mid-morning walks like this. By now everyone was out and about, either at work or visiting friends, and Frisk liked being a part of this purposeful energy, even though they had nowhere to go.

They felt the breeze blow their hair around their face playfully as they bit their lip in a failed attempt to keep themselves from grinning like an idiot.

Everything was so great. Frisk had woken up early that morning when Chara stole all the covers and pushed Frisk halfway off the bed, but they didn’t mind. Things between them had to get better from here, right? They at least seemed to be getting better.

The notion excited Frisk. They imagined a normal life for Chara and them, up on the surface. They would go to- high school, was it?- and share a room in Toriel’s house like they did now. They would come home from school and do homework in the living room as Flowey complained about something to cover up the fact that he missed having Chara around. Chara would sit outside and paint the real night sky as Frisk would lean their head onto their shoulder and stargaze. It was all so ordinary, and yet too much to ever hope for. Frisk silently chastised themselves for letting their daydreams get so out of hand. It didn’t do to sit around pitying yourself or fantasizing about things that could never happen.

For now, the jeweled roof of the cave would have to do. If they squinted, the crystals could almost pass for real stars. They reached for their phone to take a picture, wanting to remember how it looked from this angle, but their phone was gone. They must have forgot it at home, they realized, and began to walk back, the memory of their daydream still glowing in their mind.

 

\- - -

 

No sooner than Frisk had stepped through the door, a scream pierced their ears, so shrill and blood-curdling it almost didn’t register as real. Frisk bounded down the hallway to another human’s room, where the sound came from. Everyone was out of the house except for whoever made that noise and whatever was causing them to make it. They didn’t hesitate, didn’t think at all, only threw the door open and inserted themselves into the middle of the situation.

The room was so hot. It felt like it was dropping, spiraling lower and lower to an inevitable crash landing. Someone with a green sweater pinned someone else to a wall. They were holding a knife to the person’s neck, sweating, gritting their teeth, breathing heavily. Who was that? Frisk couldn’t tell. The person noticed Frisk’s presence and stumbled back. It was like they had been punched in the stomach even though nobody had hurt them. Frisk took the opportunity to launch themselves in front of the victim, adrenaline bringing realization to their mind.

Frisk searched Chara’s eyes indignantly. Hatred, shame, confusion, fear, anger, whatever Chara was feeling, they refused to show it, instead reflecting a stony coolness. It became a game- who would talk first? Who would break the silence and send the room plummeting back downwards?

“What are you doing, Chara?” Frisk yelled, not caring. No response. “Don’t you try that with me, it doesn’t work! Why are you doing this? I thought- I thought you were different! I thought things were getting better! I thought you actually cared-”

“Sure, me too. But I can’t do that. This-” they gestured at their knife, “this is who I am. I’ll never grow past it.” Their voice was the one thing that they couldn’t force to be cold. “I’m doing this for you. Once you have seven human souls, you can break the barrier. You can have a normal life with Mom and Dad and Asriel- Flowey. You can go see the world.”

“The world is nothing without you.” It was said like an insult, each syllable cutting through the air like Chara’s dagger. “We can find other ways to do this. Violence will not solve your problems.”

“It’s the only way.”

Frisk continued to scream, desperately attempting to persuade Chara in whatever way they could, always met with icy silence. The victim collapsed behind Frisk, thankful for their life. “If you want to kill them, you’ll have to kill me first,” they finally tried, clutching onto any words that might be able to stop the situation, forcing their voice to have a cold intensity matching Chara’s.

“Stop this, Frisk,” Chara laughed.

It was Frisk’s turn to stay quiet.

“Frisk, get out of the way.” They were serious this time.

Frisk glared directly into Chara’s eyes, refusing to back down.

“Get out of the way!” They were yelling now too, the cool facade dropping easily. “I warned you!” They screamed, “I told you that I was dangerous, I told you to leave me alone, but no! No! You could never just let me go like I asked, you had to care about me! You had to make me care about you! I hate this! I hate you! I hate you so much!”

Everything went black.

 

\- - -

 

_ What have I done. _

_ I’m a demon. _

_ They were all right about me. _

_ I hate myself. _

_ I wish I could undo this. _

_ I’m only a kid. _

_ Why did they have to get in the way? _

_ Why couldn’t I have listened to them? _

_ They’ll never forgive me. _

_ No one will ever forgive me. _

_ I threw everything away. _

_ How could I let this happen again? _

The thoughts circulated in their head steadily, a grim, constant drumbeat. The scene played out in their memory for the hundredth time, like watching a familiar movie. Chara had stood there, their knife pressed to the other person’s neck.

_ I’m a demon. _

They could almost feel the sweat stinging their eyes, hear the door swinging open on its creaky hinges.

_ They were all right about me. _

And then there was Frisk. Frisk, the last person who was ever supposed to know about this, standing right there, staring at them like they were a total stranger.

_ I hate myself. _

That wasn’t anything compared to the look in their eyes when they recognized Chara. Betrayal, hurt, confusion, and fear all gave way to an aggressive protectiveness, and it was utterly disarming.

_ I wish I could undo this. _

There was so much yelling. Chara had forgotten everything the both of them had said, it didn’t matter.

_I’m only a kid._

“I hate you,” the memory screamed, “I hate you so much!” Their fist was flying towards Frisk’s head, hitting them squarely in the jaw, which Chara knew would knock them out. They had expected a decent fight out of Frisk. The truth was, they wanted a fight out of Frisk. It would’ve been easy enough to rush in and stab their victim outright, to catch them off guard, but they stalled by pinning them to the wall. Chara had secretly hoped someone would try to stop them, giving them reason to let the victim go. Even though Frisk was a bit smaller, they were tough, fiery and aggressive, fueled by emotion, the perfect counter to Chara’s cool, calculated, and distant fighting style, but Frisk didn’t fight back at all. They were so surprised, not believing for a second that Chara would ever lay a hand on them. In their last second of consciousness they fell forward into Chara’s arms in almost a desperate plea of help.

_ What have I done. _

They remembered how they stood there, cradling Frisk’s body as they were now. They remembered the exact moment they decided that the people around them were more important than some barrier would ever be.

_ No one will ever forgive me. _

That didn’t stop them from apologizing incessantly to their almost-victim, who was still just grateful to be alive.

_ I threw everything away. _

They looked down at Frisk’s unconscious body, holding them close for as long as they could, pretending that this wouldn’t be the end of it all. They rested Frisk’s legs on the headboard of their bed like Frisk had done to them so long ago, remembering their advice, “you need the blood to go to your head.”

“You shouldn’t be around me. I’m not safe,” the new memory continued. Of course Frisk didn’t believe it. Even after they had almost murdered somebody in front of them, Frisk didn’t believe it. Frisk was just like that, so sunny and yellow they refused to see the bad in people even when it was staring them- or punching them- in the face. Memories of another yellow friend danced in their mind.

_ How could I let this happen again? _

“Chara-?” their voice was so vulnerable and sincere. Chara began to cry silently at the tenderness Frisk still seemed to keep for them. “I had the strangest dream, it was like something out of your book. You were there, and so was- why are you crying?” Frisk reached a gentle hand out to wipe a tear away, making Chara cry harder.

“I’m so sorry, Frisk. I know you’ll never forgive me. I don’t deserve to be forgiven. I’ve treated you horribly since the day you got here even though you’ve been nothing but kind to me. I have nothing to say for myself.” The words were fumbled through tears and shaky breaths.

Realization slowly dawned on Frisk’s face, but they didn’t back away from Chara or make any motion to leave their arms. “Did you kill them?” they asked quietly.

Chara shook their head and stuttered a weak “No.”

Frisk was unable to suppress a wary smile.

“I’m sorry,” Chara repeated, “and- everything I said in there- what I did- to you- what I meant-” they continued to cry, harder this time. They weren’t a murderer or a demon, they were a lonely child.

“Do you hate me?”

Chara flinched. “You are the last person I could ever hate. I don’t know what I was-”

“Shh,” they said warmly, “that’s all I need to hear. I forgive you.”

“Wh- what?”

“I forgive you.” Frisk took their legs off the headboard and buried their head in Chara’s shoulder, wrapping them in a hug.

Chara let it sink in. “I have no idea why you keep wasting time on me, but I’m so grateful you are. I’ll try my best to be someone you can be proud of.”

“You don’t have to try. I’m in love with you,” Frisk lifted their head off Chara’s shoulder to smile brightly at them.

“What?”

“Love, you dork. It’s when people like, really care about each other?” Chara blinked in response. “Forget it-”

“No, no, I,” they paused, “I love you, too.” It felt awkward but liberating to say. They sat there in silence for a minute, blushing, violently swinging back and forth between shame and glee.

“Chara? Why did you- What drove you to do this? Is breaking the barrier really that important to you?”

“It’s your freedom. It’s the freedom of Mom, Dad, and all the monsters in the underground. It’s finishing what I started, it’s making sure Asriel didn’t die in vain.”

“Then we’re going to do it.”

“Frisk, if there’s any way to break it that doesn’t involve me murdering everybody, I would’ve found it by now. It doesn’t matter anymore. Here I have Mom, Dad, Flowey, and most importantly you. I have a warm bed and decent food, which is more than I ever had up there. I almost threw away everything today, and let me tell you it’s not worth it.”

“Well you’re never going to do it with that attitude. Come on! You’ve worked so hard, come so far. If the two of us work together, we’ll find a way to break the barrier without hurting anybody, I’m sure of it. Then monsters and humans can share the surface in peace like they were meant to do. Chara, you can’t give up just yet! You have to stay determined!”

“You know what?” they sighed. “Okay. I’ll do it. I’ll keep trying, but this time we’re doing it together. No secrets and no plans.” Frisk smiled at them gratefully and squeezed their hand. “So, uh… would you happen to have any ideas?”

“Nope! None at all!”

“Great!”

 

\- - -

 

“Anything new?” Frisk yawned, resting their head on the table. The two had spent weeks at the librarby reading every barrier related book they could get their hands on, to no avail.

“These are the same books I read the first time around. There’s no new information or anything. I suppose that’s partially my fault. No one wants to study the barrier after everything that happened- with Asriel-” their voice broke lightly.

“You shouldn’t blame yourself for this. Also, I find it hard to believe that absolutely no progress has been made in years just because of one incident. There has to be someone out there still studying.”

“Well,” Chara mused, “there was someone who might’ve been able to help us, but he’s long gone.”

“Who?”

“I- I can’t remember him,” they squinted their eyes, deep in concentration, “but I know someone who probably will.”

 

\- - -

 

“hey, kid, other kid.”

“Hi, Sans,” Chara sighed, tapping their fingertips impatiently on the doorway to his room. “I’m just going to get straight to the point. I need to know about- him.”

“this isn’t one of your plans again, is it? pal, i want to be supportive and everything, but i can’t see anyone else get hurt because of you, or because of something i say to you.”

“No,” Frisk interrupted, noticing how Chara lowered their eyes slightly. “It isn’t like that. We’re trying to find other ways to break the barrier, ways that don’t involve violence. You have information that might help us.”

“they got you in on it too, huh?”

“I chose to help,” they sputtered indignantly. “Please, Sans. If there’s anything you know- anything at all, we need to hear it. You’re the best chance we’ve got. You’re the only chance any of us have got at freedom.” The two locked eyes for a moment before Frisk turned on their heel. “Fine. Come on, Chara,” they grabbed their arm.

“wait. just tell me. chara’s made countless attempts to break the barrier and they all end the same. what makes this time any different? do you really believe that you can do it without hurting anyone?”

“Well, of course,” Frisk turned back around, confused.

Sans sighed resignedly. “alright. if anyone can do it i suppose it’s you. i’ll show you what you need. can’t say i’m exactly thrilled about it though.”

They followed him around the back of his house to a small, dimly light room with pink tile floor and grey-blue walls, opening drawers full of disheveled heaps of worn paper.

Chara’s eyes lit up. “This is new, Frisk. This data is all entirely new. We have- a chance.”

 

\- - -

 

“Say that first part again,” Chara paced back and forth like a drill sergeant.

Frisk sat on the ground, leaning over piles of meticulously drawn graphs, flow charts, and outlined notes. “Number one,” Frisk recited monotonously, “The barrier can be broken with a lot of determination, equivalent to the determination of every monster in the underground. Number two. Determination can be given and received. Number three. Humans are much more determined than monsters, so much so that the determination of one human is equal to that of more than one hundred monsters.”

“There are around one thousand monsters living here, so we would only need ten humans’ determination to break the barrier, no violence and everything,” Chara repeated for the fifteenth time.

“-but,” interrupted Frisk, continuing the speech, “We only have eight humans, including you and I, meaning we would need to gather two hundred monsters as well, and logistically that’s never going to work.”

“Math!” cried Chara, massaging their forehead with their hands.

“Look Chara, it’s getting late and we haven’t made any progress for hours. Maybe we should just call it a day and keep trying tomorrow.”

“We’re so close though,” they sighed, “This is the closest I’ve ever gotten. I feel like I can just reach out and- there it is.” They extended their hand for dramatic effect. Frisk giggled at the theatrics and they stared at each other for a moment.

“Wait. What was that thing you said?”

“What thing?”

“That thing,” they pressed.

“Uh-”

“Just start from the beginning, hurry before I forget again.”

Frisk shifted around their papers frantically. “Number one. The barrier can be broken with a lot of determination, equivalent to the determination of every monster in the underground.”

“Keep going.”

“Number two. Determination can be given and received. Number three. Humans are much more determined than monsters, so much so that the determination of one human is equal to that of more than one hundred monsters-”

“There! That’s it!”

“What?”

“The determination of one human is equal to that of more than one hundred monsters. More than. We might not need ten humans. If there are eight of us and we each have the determination equal to that of- say, one hundred twenty five monsters, then maybe we just might be able to manage. Math,” they grinned.

“That seems- I don’t know, unlikely? Do you really believe that we could do it?”

“Well, of course,” they took Frisk’s hand. It was time to begin.

 

\- - -

 

A strange light filled the room. Twilight was shining through the barrier. The eight humans were filled with determination.

“Are you scared, Frisk?” Chara asked softly. The humans stood side by side in a line, facing their task, gripping each other’s hands.

“Scared? Me? Never,” they grinned. “You?”

“Nah,” they smiled meekly. “What’s one more try, right?”

The humans looked at one another, searching for strength, validation. Chara’s almost-victim smiled at them forgivingly. With a collective breath in, the group closed their eyes.

 

\- - -

 

Dusty pink walls, old furniture.

A sterile smell, like a hospital.

Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale. Everything clouded by the noise of their heart, a muffled scream. They were so young.

“Mom!” they called, reaching through the bars of a golden birdcage. “Mom!” It wasn’t a birdcage, it was a prison cell.

“Mom! Please! Somebody help me, I’m trapped! I don’t know- I don’t know where I am!” their throat was bleeding from shouting so loud.

They blinked.

A headstone, dusty and gray, a single golden flower lying beside it. The flower laughed at them, “Why are you crying, you ungrateful brat! Be a good girl and smile for aunty.”

“Chara!” they shrieked. A green and yellow figure appeared in front of them, back turned, holding a sharpened pencil to their own neck.

“Chara!” blood dribbled out of their lips. “Chara! Help me! Please,” they cried to the figure’s back, “Why won’t anyone help me? I don’t want to be alone! I don’t want to be alone! Please listen to me! Please!”

 

\- - -

 

“Frisk!” Twilight illuminated their features as they lay unconscious for what had to be the fourth or fifth time since they had fallen down. This seemed to happen quite a lot. “Frisk! Please wake up,” Chara shook them. The other humans were deeply focused on channeling their determination towards breaking the barrier.

Chara rubbed their eyes, already tearing up.

“I should’ve known this wasn’t safe. It always ends this way with me and my plans. I shouldn’t have let them anywhere near this, how could I have been so irresponsible? Now they’re hurt, and it’s my fault. When you love someone you’re supposed to protect them no matter what. I should’ve known someone like me can’t ever truly- feel that way. It just hurts people.” Their constant internal monologue was bombarding them with thoughts.

They searched Frisk’s face. What made them keep going despite all the hardships they had endured? What made them so sure that Chara was a good person, that this plan would work?

“Chara,” they remembered, “You have to stay determined.” It was funny, they used almost the exact same words as Asgore had so long ago. “You’re going to be alright. Stay determined.”

If he had only known that their “alright” would come from his only child sacrificing himself for their sake, perhaps he would not have been so supportive.

They shook the thoughts from their head, now was not the time. If they were going to help Frisk, they needed more determination fast, and they knew exactly where to get it.

 

\- - -

 

“I need your help.”

“Have you finally come to your senses? Have you at last decided to live out your true potential?”

“You mean kill everyone? No, I’m not really about that anymore, but I need you for something else, Asriel. It’s kind of urgent, so-”

“Don’t use that name. I am not him. He’s dead,” he looked as menacing as a flower could look.

“I know. That’s why I’m asking you, Flowey. Do you think Asriel could help me with this? No. He was far too weak, but you- you’re almost as powerful as I am. together, we could do anything,” they manipulated.

Flowey fell for it easily but pretended to be indifferent. “Why should I care? What’s in it for me?”

“You owe me, Flowey,” they put on the cold facade. “Without me, you wouldn’t exist. Asriel would’ve given his soul to me and perished, but I gave him some of my determination, which created you.”

“And you owe me, Chara. Without me, you’d be dead with a bouquet of buttercups in your mouth. Why, you’d be just like me! Soulless, unfeeling, unlovable, entirely alone, just a pint of determination in a flower pot. Golly, doesn’t that sound like fun? Don’t you wish you were me?”

“I thought you said you were separate from Asriel,” they smiled wryly. “You said he was dead.”

“That sentimental baby,” Flowey lamented, changing the subject, “He had to give his soul to you, didn’t he? Saw you eating flowers, couldn’t handle it. Couldn’t go through with a simple plan.”

“I tried to give it back to him, you know that. He wouldn’t let me. Look, now’s not the time for this. I need your help right now. It’s really important.”

“It’s Frisk, isn’t it? Since the day that idiot arrived you’ve gotten- soft. It’s disgusting watching you swoon.”

“Soft? Really?” they took it as a compliment. “Look, this is for them and the entire underground. Flowey, if you help me, you’ll always be remembered as a hero. Monsters will live on the surface with humans in peace and harmony, all because of you,” they tried. “You’re always saying that Asriel was a baby for failing at one of my plans, well here’s your chance. You can make up for that, you can prove you’re better than him. Please, Flowey. You’re my last hope.”

Flowey paused. “Fine. What do I have to do?”

 

\- - -

 

Chara stood at the barrier again, holding Flowey’s pot in their arms. Two more humans were lying on the ground like Frisk, having overexerted themselves. Chara wasted no time mourning them.

“Stay determined,” they smiled, “It’ll be over before you know it.” They set the flower down and closed their eyes.

 

\- - -

 

They were running into a wall of white light over and over again.

“Why?” they shouted. “Why can’t I do it? I have his soul. Why can’t I go through?” They slammed their fists on the wall, finally giving up. “I was going to be the one,” they sobbed to themselves, “I was going to free everyone. I would finally be important. I would make them all see how wrong they were.”

“Chara Dreemurr,” the wall teased, its voice echoing around the room. “Someone important? Please. You’ll always be a freak, a loser. People will care just as much as when you jumped off that mountain. So what if you break me? What will you do then? Who will you go with? Toriel? Frisk?” It laughed spitefully. “You think people love you. You think people have forgiven you. How quaint. It seems the demon is tired of hell, but hell isn’t tired of you.”

They were in a dusty room with a fireplace. “This is who you are,” a patch of flowers sprung up from the cracks in the floorboards, grinning. “This is who you have been. This is who you always will be. Join us, Chara. You can’t run from yourself forever. You can’t deny the truth. Join us.”

They sank to their knees crying. “Stop it,” came a voice. “Leave them alone. Why are you being so cruel? Howdy, Chara. It’s me, your best friend.”

“Flowey?”

“Who’s Flowey? I’m Asriel, silly. The better question is what are you doing here at this time of day?”

“I was- I was breaking the barrier?”

“As usual,” he chuckled. “You’re using so much determination you slipped into a dream state, I imagine.”

“How do you know all this? Why am I talking to you at all? You’re not even real.”

“Of course I’m real. You can see me, can’t you? You can hear me. This is as real as I’ll get.”

Chara rubbed their eyes. “If you’re the real Asriel, why did you do it, then? Why did you give me your soul?”

“You were dying. I couldn’t let that happen.”

“Why couldn’t you?” It came out louder than they had meant it to.

Asriel stumbled a little, taken aback. “Human souls have the ability to persist after death, but only for a little while, then they perish like monsters. When I saw you eating the flowers, I couldn’t stand the thought of you dead, so I- At least this way I thought you could cross the barrier by yourself. How was I supposed to know that a monster soul can’t function that way after given to a human permanently? I just wanted to help you with something you cared about, I didn’t know you were going to take it that far. I panicked. I’m sorry. I was immature-”

“Don’t you dare say that. I’m the one who would rather watch my best friend suffer through eternity soulless and alone rather than accept responsibility for his death. Don’t talk to me about immaturity.”

“Chara,” he held their hand. It felt like air, like nothing. “It’s not your fault. It was entirely my decision and I stand by it. Stop blaming yourself. I’m not dead, not really, no matter what anyone thinks. A small part of me still lives in here, in my old soul, and whenever you close your eyes this part of me will always be here to help you. People do love you, people have forgiven you. You’re already important and you don’t need to break some barrier for everyone to know it. You don’t need to avenge me, so stop worrying about that. As long as you’re alive, as long as you’re happy, I haven’t died in vain. Now please- our time is almost over. Soon you’ll ‘wake up’ and everyone will be free, but for now I need you to promise me something.”

“Anything.”

“Promise that you’ll take care of Mom and Dad, and especially yourself. Promise that you’ll visit me sometimes when you fall asleep and tell me how it’s going. Promise that you’ll try your best to have a really good life up there with everybody.”

“Of course,” they nodded tearfully. “Of course I’ll do that for you, Asriel.” The two friends hugged each other tightly. “Is this it, then?”

“I’m afraid so. Don’t look so sad. You’ll see me again. Hey, you got what you always wanted. Everyone will be free. You finally did it.”

“We all did it together. Thank you, Asriel. I’ll see you soon.”

Asriel chuckled sadly. “I don’t want to let go.”

 

\- - -

 

With a tear and a blink of an eye, he was gone. Chara looked around apprehensively. All the years of trying, all the grief and loss were finally over.

But it just wasn’t worth it.

No broken barrier, no matter how honorable, was worth the death of a best friend, or the injury of a partner, or the shame of a mother and father.

They would never get those years back, they had been taken from them forever by their own insecurity. “The only demons around here, the only barriers,” they told the voices in their head, “are you all. I’m done listening to you. Goodbye.”

Chara picked themselves up from the ground and brushed themselves off. Monsters were flocking to the barrier in ecstatic disbelief. Flowey was recounting the tale to a flock of admiring children.

“It all would’ve failed horribly if not for me,” Chara caught a sliver of his speech.

“kid,” said someone in a blue hoodie, “you really did it, didn’t you? i gotta apologize for not believing you. honestly, i’ve been a real jerk. you don’t deserve it, never did. i’m sorry, pal. maybe there’s some way i can make it up to you?”

“No, Sans. We’re good. Although there is one thing you could do,” they grinned.

“sure thing.”

“Where’s Frisk?”

Sans brought them across the barrier to where Frisk was sitting, fully conscious and admiring the sunset. Chara sat down next to them.

“Chara! I told you we could do it.” They were smiling broadly. Chara fidgeted for a few seconds, trying (and failing) not to let themselves blush too hard. “Chara?” Frisk laughed.

“Can I kiss you?” Their voice was so small.

“Um- Well- Uh- Yeah!” Frisk went bright red.

Chara stared at their leg for a moment. “You idiot. You have no idea what you’re doing. You’re going to mess this up. They’ll hate you even more than they hate you now. You’re worthless garbage and no barrier can change that-”

“Shut up!” they thought, and slammed into Frisk so intensely that they almost flew back into the dirt. Frisk laughed gleefully, surrendering to what was the gentlest kiss they’d ever have despite the somewhat rough beginning. Frisk seemed to melt onto them like maybe they had been hoping for something like this to happen, and Chara- Chara was scared and giddy out of their mind, holding them so closely and knowing that this time it never had to end.

“-Ahem. Please excuse me. This seems to happen quite a lot, does it not?”

“Mom!” The two broke apart sheepishly. Perhaps it had to end at some point.

“It is I. I am truly sorry to interrupt, but we should really think about what comes next. This is the beginning of a bright new future, an era of peace between humans and monsters.”

“We hope that all eight fallen children will act as ambassadors to the humans,” added Asgore.

“You want us to be ambassadors?” asked Frisk. They glanced at Chara for a second. “Sure! Alright! Why not?”

“I’ll do it, too.”

Frisk smiled even broader as Chara quieted, taking their newfound responsibility seriously. This was a way that they could make a change, possibly atone for some of their previous mistakes towards the people they loved. The plans started to form in their head again, but this time it would be the new kind of plan, the kind that involved Frisk and working together. They could just picture it: peaceful negotiation, orphanages, support groups for kids like Frisk who felt alone in their identity, anti-bullying programs, hotlines for suicidal youth, fencing to keep people off that godawful mountain.

“Frisk, Chara,” Toriel interrupted their thoughts. “You both came from this world, right? So you both must have places to return to, do you not? What will you do now?”

“I’m staying with you, duh,” Chara smiled.

“And I’m staying with you,” Frisk held their hand.

“Sorry, mom. I don’t think the house is going to get any emptier.”

“You really are a funny child,” Toriel laughed. “If you had said that earlier, none of this would have happened. It is a good thing you took so long to change your mind. I will do my best to take care of all of you for as long as you need. Now, come along. Everyone is waiting for us!”

 

\- - -

 

Small children are odd things. They more they insist that they can take care of themselves, the more they need someone to do just that. It had been almost fifteen years since a small child was born in a grimy village near a mountain. Now, they were going to return to that village, hand in hand with their friends, positively adamant that they would have never gotten through this without the others’ help. They weren’t afraid to love anymore, and they knew they needed family and friends. Compassionate, tolerant, flawed, but improving. I mean, have you seen them laugh? Have you seen them smile? Let them try to help you, let them try to be like the people who have helped their life.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading!
> 
> This is my first time publicly posting my fanfiction, and I welcome any criticism or advice you may have in the comments. I'm here to improve!
> 
> Questions? Send them to me! I love to ramble about these characters.


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